GuruJay’s Psychedelic Revelations – Week 37, 2010
GuruJay’s Psychedelic Revelations
There will be a zombie uprising this week. Dead people will see you. You will be chased. Expect recurring hallucinations. Plan revenge on someone who was once your friend. You will overcome your drinking problem soon. You will love the stuff. Nothing in your life is so bad, that it can’t get worse. When you scream ‘Why me?’ … a voice from above will say ‘Who else could I have in mind?’
Guruji, i am a self made alcoholic. Is there any any stone that i should wear (i dontmind lifting stones either) to find peace in this world.
you are taking ‘on the rocks’ too literally. a stone that will soon be close to you will have a epitaph etched on it. think up a limerick quick. if you insist on wearing a stone, try amber – it will match the glass you holding. ‘Shivas Regal’ has holistic properties. you should switch brands. luckily, alcohol only kills slowly. who is in a hurry anyways!
Gurujay, thank you for joining us and showing the light!
may the celestial farce be with you.
Gurujay. I met one of the Zombies at a public program today afternoon. After watching video footage of the Puttaparthi guy he told me what if he does these? He also runs schools, hospitals etc. etc. I had to tell him so what do you think that all who do that are prestidigitators or what? I had to also remind him that the three among the highest donors of personal wealth are atheists! Contacts with such aggravates my drinking problem. Plz advise the proper gem to wear!
Thanks for the column Gurujay. Today at a public program I met one of the Zombies he saw the footage of the Puttaparthi thug and got wild. He asked me whether I know that he is running hospitals, schools etc. I had to ask him what that had to do with prestidigitation? I had to remind him that three of the largest donors of personal wealth in this world are atheists. Such encounters aggravate my drinking problems as I have to take larger doses of alcohol every evening. please advise me which stone to wear.
you are in good hands, no sleight here! your life is cobble-stoned with zombies. You have awakened with an overwhelming feeling that you should go back and do something. this might be the alcohol which has caused an influx in the time-space continuum. the only stone that I can recommend is a flat pebble, which has to be flung with maximum velocity in the direction of the zombie. use a pebble with sharp edges for satisfactory effect.
Please suggest an astrological remedy for impotence.
oh the null monte! while empathising with you, we cant get to share our hard-feelings now that you don’t rise to the occasion. 180 degrees shy of heaven is not a comfortable position astrologically. a weak saturn in your 3rd house results in this awkward situation. there are very few cures for Ascension Deficit Disorder. firstly, you should stop listening to the music of Flacido Domingo. donate 3 kgs of masoor dal daily at a kali temple. rabbits as pets, helps with inspiration. buy a pair and observe them closely. the vacuum cleaner is believed to have curative properties – the suction can help pump blood in the right direction. investing in one means your house will be cleaner as well. this will make saturn move to a dustier house. wear a yellow sapphire around your genitalia during dusk for 28 days continuously … will surely get your partner curious. impotence is hereditary. probably you were adopted.